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10 Tips to Overcome Your Shyness LifeMojo Home|Invite|RSS|SMS|Help|Login / Register HomeMy JourneyMy Journey HomeGoalsPlanTrackMeasureReportsAnalysisBody AnalysisLifestyle AnalysisLifestyleLifestyle HomeTop RatedNutritionFitnessWellnessMotivationHealth GuidesHealth Guides HomeHealth TipsCalories BurntNutritional ValueHealthy RecipesGlossaryHealth InsuranceCommunityForumsRoutesHealth StoreHealth Store HomeShopping Cart LifestyleLifestyle > 10 Tips to Overcome Your Shyness10 Tips to Overcome Your ShynessBy LifeMojo Team / October 20, 20100 CommentsA lot of us experience a pounding heartbeat or shaky feet when faced with a public situation. This is because a lot of us feel shy when meeting new people or facing new situations. The occasional shyness is fine but when people suffer from chronic shyness; that is when you come to know how much shyness can affect your life, especially when it comes to interacting with others. However, the good news is that people can overcome their shyness with preparation followed by slowly engaging themselves in new social situations.What is Shyness?Shyness is feeling uncomfortable in social situations as a result of which you are not able to perform at the level you are capable of or that causes one to avoid social situations altogether. Shyness results in excessive self-focus and worry, often preoccupation with your thoughts and feelings.Shyness is not something you are born with. According to Dr Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University, shyness is characterised by three major features: excessive self-consciousness (you are overly aware of yourself), excessive negative self-evaluation (you tend to see yourself negatively) and excessive negative self-preoccupation (when you are around other people, you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong). All three characteristic features of shyness involve a sense of self, which does not develop until approximately 18 months of age. Since individuals are not born with a sense of self, they cannot be born shy.How to overcome Shyness?Following are some tips to assist you in overcoming shyness:
Be confident: Nothing explains shyness better than a lack of self-confidence. The first step in overcoming shyness is to be proud of what you are and gain some confidence. People who are proud of what they are will always brim with confidence. Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Think about what you know, what you can do, and what you have accomplished, rather than fixating on how you look, sound, or dress.
Find out when you feel shy: A lot of people feel shy in particular situations like meeting new people, learning new things, giving a speech, at a party. Find out what makes you shy and why. This will require a lot of soul searching so be prepared to argue with your self for a while. Once the list is ready, order the things on the list so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first. Now, start working through the list from the top, and do each and everything on the list repeatedly till the point where it becomes second-nature. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list.
Surround yourself with people: If you feel shy in a public situation, you need to gradually expand the scope of people you interact with. Start by interacting with 2 people at a time and gradually increase to 3 and soon on. Within no time, you will feel comfortable speaking in front of a crowd.
Focus on people: Shyness often stems from the fact you focus too much on yourself and less on others. This aggravates the queasy sensation in the pit of your stomach. If you focus on people and the conversation, your mind will be diverted from being shy and you will open up as well.
Don't compare yourself to others: Our society is based on the fact that one can be compared to other. So right from the childhood you are compared with your classmates. But the more you compare with others, the more you will feel that you are not able to measure up and the more intimidated you will feel, which will make you shyer.
Expand your area of comfort: You need to expand your comfort zone by trying new things and meeting new people. Only then will you be able to conquer your shyness. So do something outlandish that you have not done before. This way, you will even have a story to tell others when you meet them.
Learn from watching others: When you're out, see someone who appears very confident and outgoing, take mental note of how they act, talk, and move their body. Then when you are in the same situation replicate the behavior appropriately. You will notice that confident people tend to make eye contact and smile in their interactions with others. They also tend to have a good posture, which gives the world the impression that they are self-confident and receptive to others.
Visualize: This is a technique used by many athletes to develop their skills. Close your eyes and visualize yourself in a situation, where you might be shy, as a confident and happy person. Do this often, and for different situations. This helps your perception of yourself when you are actually in the situation.
Affirmation: What you repeatedly tell yourself can help to rewrite your behavioral scripts at a subconscious level. If you repeatedly tell yourself that you are too shy to do anything, your unconscious mind will likely lead to your actions that will match this "fact". Similarly, if you repeatedly tell yourself that you are capable and confident, it won't be long before your actions will give evidence to this new "fact".